Lunch Break with a Playboy Intern: I hate tourists.

Behold: The Devil's Lair Ambercrombie & Fitch

Abercrombie & Fitch is a clothing brand that sells American attire. The flagship store of Abercrombie & Fitch is right next to our office. Therefore, when tourists come here to New York (every day), that place gets ridiculously packed. What the hell kind of name is Ambercrombie & Fitch anyway? The above image is of the crowd at the store on a stormy day.

When I go to lunch everyday, I have to walk through this obstacle course/gauntlet and it drives me crazy. People just stand there and look at the store and do not move. They are not in line. They are not busy. They are rude and push their way to get from point A to point B. When everyone is walking on one side of the sidewalk, they walk to opposite direction just to try to be a pain in the ass (successful). They are annoying and I swear: before my last day at Playboy, I will punch a tourist in their face. It will hurt them...a lot.

I will aim for their jaw. This way, when I say "excuse me", they can't look at me like they don't know English and then talk to other people in English. I am offering the keys to my house to anyone who can walk back and forth from that place three times in one day without wanting to give a nice backhand to someone.

Salt on the wound: The place smells like someone drank a bottle of cologne and pissed all over the place.

Damn you, Abercrombie & Fitch. I never liked flip flops, anyway.